to Brianna

Thanks for your comment! I wanted and have tried to respond but haven’t been able to open that page.

I often wonder if I am the only one dealing with these thoughts, but I am sure I am not. Many obese women feel they have to be so strong and keep their feelings to themselves. IT’s not true. I don’t think we need to discuss our thoughts with everyone - but if we have someone we love and trust, we should feel able to open up to them. It’s sad, however, that we feel our thoughts and our needs are not always important.

I wish you good luck on your journey!
dee~

May 20, 2010 | Filed Under Assistance on your journey

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Want it? Take it! OWN IT~

My new motto in life is “Want It? Take It! Own It.”  - well at least until just recently, it’s been my motto only in relation to calories.

For almost two years I’ve logged every calorie consumed - which doesn’t always mean I was good at keeping my calories within my budgeted amount.  Often times, unfortunately, I am sad to admit, I was overbudget. 

The LapBand doesn’t control what I eat, necessarily, with the exception of really really dry proteins!  Ouch!  If I chew slowly and I take those smaller bites, I can eat most foods.  Actually, the foods that go down the easiest are the foods that are the worst for me.  Cookies and chips are my slider foods.  I can’t be in the same room with a tortilla chip.  And cookies and I - well, we go way back.  We’ve been best buds for years. (or not!)

Recently, I had to cancel attending a party because it was going to be held at a Mexican resturant that serves the most amazing, fresh hot tortilla chips.  I knew I would have absolutely no strength to withstand that temptation.  (it was that time of the month when the hormones scream for the salty enemy)

Not far from my work there is a little place called, “The Cookie Company.”  They have these amazing cookies.  They taste like granola baked into the form of a cookie.  A really big cookie!  They make them all day long, they are hot and soft and yummy!  Everytime I’m on the freeway and I pass that exit, I have to use all of my power to not exit and drive directly to that little joint.

So why am I posting this?  Not to make your mouth water, but to say, we are all human.  We all have cravings.  We all have certain foods that tempt us beyond belief.  I often wondered if thin people had those same cravings.  Maybe not for chips and fresh, hot, soft cookies, but for anything.  Do they go through life avoiding the foods that drive them nuts?  (oh Nuts!  I love Nuts too!) 

If you looked at their waistlines, you might think they never eat anything besides fruit, veggies and lean proteins.  You might just assume they have more strength than Superman or Wonder Woman. 

Perhaps, they do.  OR perhaps, they don’t make a regular diet of giving into their cravings.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that every thin person is really good at avoiding all the bad foods.  I have friends who eat their weight in goodies and never gain a pound.  Those people are just extremely fortunate and I secretly hate them!  (not really, but I do envy them!) 

I readily admit that during my fluffy years (I’m going to refer to my past M.O. life that way now. “the fluffy years”)  I often did make bad foods my steady diet.  Why? Well, I always had this, “manana” attitude.  “I’ll eat today because I’m starting that ultimate diet tomorrow.”  Usually, the diet was supposed to commence on Monday.  Usually it did not.  But often times, I felt I better enjoy my meals because I was sure to be starving as soon as Monday rolled around.  Did I?  No, most likely I never did reach the starving stage -  actually pretty sure I never did - I had a BMI of 65 afterall. 

So what has changed in my thinking now that will keep me from gaining all the weight I’ve lost and keep me on the losing track?  My new motto - Want It?  Take It!  but OWN IT!  Log it!  Write it down!  Admit it!  AND then make up for it by decreasing your calories later in the day or increasing your workout.  If I want a cookie, I eat half of it and I log it!  I count my chips if I want to eat chips.  I know, I know that sounds obsessive, BUT did you know that a full serving of chips is only 14?  14 chips!  Count them!  How many of us sit down and eat 14 chips?  Not me!  But I do now.  AND if I decide I want more.  I count out another 7 and log in 1.5 servings of chips. 

What about the rest of my life?  If I see something I want, do I take it?  Do I then own the decision, whether good or bad? 

I’m going to Mexico for my plastic surgery.  Many may think I’m not thinking this one through.  Perhaps, they are not right.  But after losing the weight I’ve lost, I know I will never have the money to have all of my surgery done in the US.  However, I must be quite honest in saying, I did NOT choose Mexico because of the price.  I chose Mexico because of the surgeon.  I have several friends who have had many procedures done by him and they look amazing.  His incisions are straight, they are done in a manner in which they can be hidden by regular clothing and lastly, he is an artist.  He takes hours marking a new patient prior to surgery.  Hours!  It’s important to him that you’re happy with your result.  He’s realistic and admits perfection is not possible for someone who has lost a lot of weight and has a lot of excess skin, but improvement is.  I also chose him because he specializes in plastic surgery of the WLS patient.  We are a different breed.  Our skin has been stretched beyond normal and it needs to be handled differently.  I made my choice, I saw his work, I wanted it, I took it and now my friends I’m going to own it.  Good or bad, I’m hoping and praying for good, I own my decision. 

November 27, 2009 | Filed Under Assistance on your journey

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Lap Band Failures~

I felt the need to post something about Lap Band failures. 

I want everyone to know that the Lap Band is the most difficult WLS available.  You must be willing and able to listen to your body’s cues.  If you are a grazer or a sweet eater, you will have more trouble being successful.  A grazer can easily bypass the Lap Band and overeat.   Believe me, I’ve done it.  On vacation, we tend to snack and not eat an entire meal.  At the end of the day, I’ve consumed twice the calories and have had no problem bypassing my Lap Band. 

Some have a “soft stop” others do not.  I am fortunate to be one who has a “soft stop” — my nose runs when I’m full.  If I stop at that point, I won’t overeat and will still be satiated for my 4 to 5 hours.  Believe me, this is not easy.  It’s easy to ignore it.  When the meal tastes really good, I don’t want to stop.  For example, two days ago, I made the best 4 bean, veggie chili.  Wonderful spicy New Mexican chili with lots of lentils, pintos, kidneys and butterbeans (I know, bizarre!) and every veggie you could think of.  Lots of garlic and onions made it even tastier!  I cooked it all day in the crock pot.  As I was eating my cup of chili, my nose started running almost with my first bite.  I told myself, “it’s the hot chili”  — and I kept on eating.  I ate the entire serving and wanted more.  I took another spoonful and ate that too.  I was miserable.  Why?  After all this time, would I overeat?  I know better! 

We’re human.  We’re food addicts - or at least I am a food addict.  And it’s hard to walk away from something that tastes really good.  My mistake was going back to the kitchen and taking that other spoonful.  I should have stopped myself.  Thus is the problem with the Lap Band.  It is not a going to stop me.  Sure, it will make me feel too full and that’s not a good feeling… like after eating a huge Thanksgiving meal.  But it doesn’t stop me prior to my consumption. 

I have several really good friends who have been Banded in the last year.  Some haven’t done so well.  In one year, one has lost 24lbs.  She’s sad.  I am sad for her.  She said, “I saw you did so well.”  “Now I know you were obsessed with counting calories.”  I admit it.  I am.  I should have been obsessed 25 years ago!  I would have never reached the weight I did, if I had been.  It’s about time, I become obsessed with being healthy.  

I hear people say it all the time, “I didn’t get the Band to be on a diet.”  I used to say it myself.  I’m sure others can attest to that.  I didn’t.  But dammit, I also didn’t get the Band to fail.   I endured a surgical procedure.  I spent over 85 mins on that OR table under general anesthesia with a BMI of 64.  I was at risk of dying and leaving those I love so much.  So with this Band inside me, I will be obsessed.  I will try my best to follow the rules and I will try to not return for that extra spoonful of chili!  I’m not perfect.  The Band is not easy.  So my advice to anyone thinking of getting Banded, please do your research.  Make sure that your eating habits are ones that the Band will address.  Talk to your doctor and prepare to make some major changes in your life - then prepare to see a new You emerge.  It works if you work it.  But it won’t do all the work without you!

November 6, 2009 | Filed Under Assistance on your journey

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It’s not a lot of work~

…. to plan your before and after workout meals.

I’ve heard it all.  Don’t eat, Eat!  Really - if we do eat - What do we eat before and after a workout?

I’ve read a lot of information on this topic and what I’ve found is YOU SHOULD EAT before and after a workout.

Your body needs the fuel.  If you’ve ever been unfortunate enough to run out of gas - you know there is just nothing you can do if there is no fuel in the tank.  The car won’t go!  Our bodies are the same.  We have to feed our bodies.

This is what I’ve learned:

Before a workout - High Carb/Moderate Protein

Half a Banana with a half serving of Peanut/Almond Butter

Hummus with a serving of Pita Chips

 A Handful of Almonds  or Walnuts with an apple

After a workout, your meal or snack should be higher protein and lower carb

A Half of a Garden Burger on a toasted whole wheat english muffin 

A Protein Drink with half of a serving of peanut butter/ half a banana

If you’re out and can’t get a proper snack, try to find a good protein bar.  You don’t want to eat a bar that is too high in calories, you want one with lower carbs and a good amount of protein.  The Trio Bar and the Luna Bar are good choices that I’ve found.  

Good Luck and Get Working!

September 23, 2009 | Filed Under Assistance on your journey

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My Secrets to Lap Band Success~

As I continue through this journey to good health and an appropriate body weight, I am asked often, “How have you done it?” –

I have several friends who have the Band and have not been successful.  In fact, they have not done well at all.  It just serves to remind me that the Lap Band is probably the toughest WLS available.  You have to be in tune with your body and it’s signals.  You can easily bypass the Band and actually gain weight.  This is sad, but true. 

Here are the rules that I’ve followed since getting Banded in 2008.  Some of these are things that have worked well for me and I’ve adopted them from advice from my doctor and other successful Banders.  Please remember to always follow the advice of your own doctor when it comes to living the Lap Bander’s Life. 

 These are my secrets to my success.

1.  Eat my protein first.  (I have to admit, I haven’t always done this.  But it’s a rule that absolutely must be followed IF I want to get adequate protein in my diet.)

2.  Don’t drink while eating - wait 60 mins post-meal.  (Some doctors suggest waiting 30 mins. after your meal, some others suggest 60 mins.  I wait 60 mins.  Some other doctors suggest not drinking for 30 mins prior to eating.  I haven’t followed this rule because I see no sense in it.  I drink all I want prior to starting my meal and then nothing until 60 mins after my last bite.)

3.  Eat 60-80 grams of protein each day.  (Eating my protein and getting in 60-80 grams keeps me satiated longer.  It also helps with cravings.  My goal is to “eat” my protein and not “drink” it.  Many Banders supplement their protein intake with protein drinks.  I do not.  I lose weight faster if I’m actually eating my protein and not drinking it.  Remember the Lap Band works best with solid foods.  It really does nothing to keep you satiated or decrease your portion control with fluids.)

4.  Keep a food journal.  (The Internet is loaded with great Food Journal sites.  Find one you like and use it.  I use www.fitday.com.  I log everything I eat.  I do mean everything.  If I eat a pat of butter on my steamed veggies, I log it.  I log my calcium chews. — This keeps me on top of what I am actually eating.  In my mind, I may think, I’ve eaten less than I have.  For example, I work night shift.  At midnight, I start logging on the next day’s journal.  So far today I’ve eaten 1285 calories.  However, in my mind, I have really not eaten much.  It’s easy to forget those meals that I consumed hours and hours ago.  Logging keeps me honest.)

5.  Keep myself hydrated.  Drink 8 - 8oz glasses of water or more. (I have noticed if I am dehydrated, my Band seems to be tighter.)

6.  Take small bites and chew my food well.  (Remember the stoma from your upper pouch to your lower stomach is the size of a dime or smaller.  If I eat fast and take big bites without chewing well, I block the stoma and have difficulties.  Sliming, PB’s and discomfort has occurred.  Slime once and you won’t want to do it again!)

7.  Eat a variety of foods.   (I take issue with some Banders who feel it’s important to totally eliminate certain foods from their diets.  I know Banders who haven’t eaten fruit since being Banded, because of the carbs.  Our bodies need good carbs.  Our bodies need the nutrition found in fruit and veggies.  If you can’t eat something because it gets stuck, i.e. unpeeled apples, tomato skins, grape skins - then I understand avoiding those foods or altering them - I do have to peel my apples.  But I do not purposely avoid any nutritious foods - just because I’m Banded.  I do admit that when I have hit a plateau in the last year and a half, I have returned to my pre-op diet to get the scale moving again.  My pre-op diet was protein and veggies only.  NO carbs.  I do this for 10 days, lose 10 lbs or more and my plateau has been broken and I’m back on the losing end.)

8.  Do some kind of activity each AND every day.  (I have a recumbent bike and I ride that bike everyday.  If I only have 20 mins before having to shower for work, then I ride for 20 mins.  If it’s my day off, I go to the pool, swim laps and workout upstairs with weights.  This is the biggest change since being Banded.  I am now active.  I admit, if my routine is interrupted by an out of town trip or pulling extra shifts at the hospital - it is extremely difficult for me to get back on track with my workouts.  BUT at the same time, I have found that I miss them - when I’m away too long.) 

9.  Weigh myself everyday.  (This I do without fail.  Currently, my scale is broken and I’ve had to weigh at the gym and at work!  I can’t wait to be able to weigh at home again!  I never again want to go weeks or months or as I previously did, YEARS without weighing.  It is so easy for your weight to creep up on you without noticing, if you’re not weighing yourself regularly.)

10.  Get my fills and adjustments as needed.  (If I’m eating a good nutritious meal and feeling hungry in less than 5 hours - then I know it’s time for an adjustment.  I have been fortunate to have very few fills.  But if I need one, I’ll get it.  The Band doesn’t work without the fills.  If for some reason I am not able to get an adjustment due to my schedule, I’ll eat my 3 small meals and 2 small snacks.  Adding a handful of almonds or a piece of fruit between my meals - if I get hungry early, helps me from gaining weight while waiting to get the time for a fill.)

11.  Stop eating when I get my “soft stop.” (My “soft stop” is a runny nose.  When I’m eating and my nose runs, I stop eating and I’m good.  It’s difficult for me to stop sometimes when the food is really good.  Sometimes, I wrap it up and eat it later. 

I have had some people tell me I am obsessed.  Perhaps, I am.  But when I started this journey I was Super Morbidly Obese, my BMI was over 65!  I’d yo-yo diet and always gain the weight I had lost plus more back.  I was done.  I knew in my heart that I had to make changes.  So if logging my food everyday, weighing myself everyday, eating only good whole grain carbs and avoiding the simple carbs, watching my protein and fat intake is obsessive, then I accept that label.  It’s worked.  I have lost over 67% of my excess weight and am currently on the last 100lbs.  I am in Twoderville and loving it!  I’m looking forward to Onederland!  My first phase of plastic surgery is scheduled and I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Life has improved greatly for me.  I find myself tearing up when I see an old picture of myself.  I remember the physical and emotional pain of living that life and I know without a doubt I never want to return to that place again. 

The Lap Band has changed my life! 

This journey has been a blessing!

August 27, 2009 | Filed Under Assistance on your journey

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